“My trauma starts in the generations before mine. I come from a long line of parents abusing their children. Every generation gets better than the last, but none of them were “good.” Because of my family’s past, I often overlooked my own trauma because my life was better than my parents, their parents, and their parents’ parents and so on.
I also am a survivor of child sexual abuse, and surviving that tainted my view on trauma. I thought only the big things were traumatic. I ignored the little things, well, what I defined as little, and by doing so, I hindered my own healing. I thought it was normal to have parents that told you they didn’t love you anymore, because that is what happened in previous generations.
As a result of comparing my trauma to others, and invalidating the little things, I hurt myself and prevented true healing from happening. I don’t know anyone else’s journey, but I do know, it’s common for survivors to downplay their trauma, and to try to be strong. It’s how many of us have learned to survive.
I want to encourage others to know that once the healing process begins, to acknowledge the little and the big things; both of them are valid and both of them require healing. It’s not weakness to admit to being hurt, it’s the opposite, it takes strength to admit you have struggles and need help.
From one survivor to another, know that you’re not alone, healing isn’t linear, and it can’t happen when we’re not willing to be honest and acknowledge the past. Your bravery in surviving will also be the same bravery that will lead you to healing. Be brave, be strong, and know you’re not alone and you can do this.”
-Anonymous Trauma Survivor
Wishing you a day sprinkled with hope,
Melissa Adamchik, Executive Director, Tristate Trauma Network