Can We Erase the Stigma of and Shed Some Light on Suicide? 11/2/21

Friends, I must ask for your help on this one. We need as many people as possible to understand this multi-layered message around suicide. On Oct. 30, 2021, in the wee hours of the night, I received the below email from my colleague friend and Board Member, Alison Savage. As you can see she asked me to share the information around her husband’s tragic suicide, so that it may shed some light on the shadows that always envelop such a situation. I am honored that she trusted me with this information and the sharing of it. As a society, we don’t talk about these topics enough: trauma, mental illness, the depths of emotional pain experienced by people. So grab a cup of coffee and let’s talk.

Hi Melissa,

My husband took his own life on Monday. We are devastated to say the least.Here is a link to his obituary: https://neidhardminges.com/book-of-memories/4762093/Savage-John/index.php

I want to take away the stigma of suicide and would love if you could share with our TTN board and network as you deem appropriate.

Thank you for all the support you have given me. It has meant the world to me!

Alison

My response after finding the email:

Oh Alison, my heart breaks for you and your children and his other children and family members. Sometimes the pain of life and its many stressful circumstances becomes so overwhelming that it feels insurmountable and I can imagine what he must have been feeling (and not wanting to be feeling) to be led to take his life. That sort of pain is familiar to too many of our fellow human beings. Some find their way out or past it with whatever magic key and some do not. I was reminded myself on Monday evening of a distant relative of my father’s who died by suicide 8 years ago at the age of 16, I think. It was the first time I’d ever spoken with his mother about it and the disbelief still in her voice of him doing this of his own accord was there. I imagine you’ve perhaps had that sense too.

Yes, I am happy to pass this along for you, and I will turn this into a blog for THe TTN Hope Chest to shed a light on Suicide awareness and true understanding. It’s been brushed under the rug for far too long and keeping it secretive and shameful does not serve anyone.
I will make a donation for the children to the go fund me or perhaps direct to you from TTN and me personally.

My heart is sad, but it is also strong enough to send you strength, love, and support to help you and your young children bear the intense grief of this loss. Please send me an address to which to send my donation for them.

May God and his angels wrap their loving arms around you and your “littles” at this time,

Sincerely, Melissa Adamchik
Tristate Trauma Network

Friends of TTN, I invite and encourage you to talk about this story in a way that honors the victim as well as the survivors’ wishes.

Chris Stapelton’s “Fire Away” written to being awareness to suicide

Hoping your day is sprinkled with HOPE and that you spread that HOPE, so that it radiates out to our community in need of so much healing,

Melissa